Auroma worked as
a servant in the nearby castle. Her daily routine involved the
gathering and arranging of flowers. The castle was owned by the Queen
of Nostriland who also owned the surrounding country and all that
lived within it. Few had seen the actual queen herself, but all
Nostrilanders owned and worshipped images or sculptures made in her
honour. In them she was always depicted with a nose.*
Auroma explained to
Wayne what she does each day in the castle, and about how she and all her
people were happy.
"On the first day of working for the Queen, I
was handed a uniform and a bottle of air-freshener. The uniform has
to be handed in at the end of each day to be burned, and a brand new
one collected the next. The air-freshener has to be sprayed all over yourself every five minutes whilst inside the castle. Every time
the Queen is in sight, it has to be sprayed continuously. In this way, I have worked for over
five years and enjoyed every minute. Under the Queen's rule, all the
people of Nostriland live in happiness. We are at one with ourselves and
all of nature."
Wayne wasn't to
be taken in by a nonsense story such as this, but decided not to let
Auroma know of his disbelief.
"Such a
lovely job you have. All those wonderful colours and smells! Amazing!
A whole race of noseless people! Who can't even smell how smelly they
are! Brilliant!" He stopped to filter some air through his
sleeve. "Listen love, you don't happen to have any of that spray
with you?" he asked, politely.
"I do as it
happens." she answered.
"Really?.
Throw it over here." he demanded.
The door burst
open as Wayne was spraying air-freshener around his proximity.
Wycliffe ran up to him with his glasses in his mouth. They appeared
to be undamaged, but dog slobber had engulfed them.
"Good boy."
he said, patting him with a wet hand, and putting them on with the
other.
"No
worries," replied the dog. "Weird place isn't it?"
"You don't
say," as he looked up at the now in focus noseless Auroma, "Well I never. The stinky
woman was telling the truth. No nose. We must find this Queen with a
nose. And soon. She may be able to help us figure out what's going
on, and maybe we'll be back home to write a decent story before we
are all sentenced to death by the King."
Sewerd entered
the room, gasping for breath, clinging to the frame of the door.
"There it
is!" he shouted, pointing at Wycliffe. "That little hairy
thing nearly knocked me down as I went to retrieve your spectacles.
And then I saw it had them dangling from its mouth. So I chased after
it. To my surprise it came all the way back here. What is it?"
"It is a
dog. It is Man's best friend. It can talk. And it has a sense of
smell far better than mine. Which is how he found me. Through his
sense of smell." said Wayne.
"That's
right," continued Wycliffe, "and how I managed to find him
with all you stinkers around is quite an accomplishment, even if i
say so myself."
Wayne and
Wycliffe thanked the couple for their hospitality, and before they
left, quickly asked them the direction of the castle.
"It's that
way." they said, pointing in unison. "Would you not like us
to guide you there?"
"No."
And with that they escaped and ran away as far as they could,
stopping only when their noses recovered from their onslaught.
* No two images of
the Queen were the same due to nobody seeing her for long enough to
remember her features properly. In most cases, her nose was made far
larger or pointier than it actually was. Sometimes she had no
nostrils, and sometimes more than two. She was once represented by
two noses, but those effigies had since been destroyed.
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